Around the NFL: 07/22/11

Around the NFL is a weekly offseason feature on Foxboro Blog offering an irreverent (and sometimes humorous) look at some of the top news stories from the NFL. Read at your own risk!

The lockout could be over … or not. Despite not having a firm agreement with players on a number of issues, owners voted unanimously to approve a new CBA on Thursday. The approval set up a high-stakes vote by the players as early as today that could either end the lockout or imperil the season. No pressure, guys.

It is somewhat encouraging that a new CBA is at least halfway done. Say what you will about the NFL, but they’ve still proven to be more functional than Congress.

The CBA was approved by the owners 31-0. The Raiders abstained from the vote, presumably because the agreement did not include an Al Davis-backed clause that allows owners to pay head coaches in chickens and shit on their desk with impunity.

Kenny Britt was handcuffed again this week, but this time it wasn’t by police (I’ll graciously accept my nomination for Teaser Lead of the Year, thank you very much). Britt was handcuffed to a pole on stage while wearing a pink boa as part of a Britney Spears concert in Nashville this week. No word on whether she shaved his head or beat him with an umbrella.

Chad Ochocinco was pulled over by police for the illegal tint of his car windows. He was disappointed to learn the encounter would not be featured on the Real Police Women of Cincinnati. But hey, wasn’t it still worth the risk on the off chance of being chased down and mounted by Mandy Curfiss? I think so.

R.I.P. Myra Kraft, wife of Pats owner Bob Kraft. By all accounts, she was an extraordinary woman dedicated to numerous charitable causes in the community. All of us at Foxboro Blog extend our deepest sympathies to the Kraft family during this difficult time.