Thinking with Sanchez

New England Patriots at New York Jets

The more the Jets yapped in the offseason and through the Pre-Season on Hard Knocks, the more the week 2 matchup meant to fans of both teams. For New England, a sense of redemption after their week 2 loss to the Jets last season is on the line. For the Jets this is a chance to prove last year’s victory over the Patriots was no fluke.

But hampering the hype machine is the lack of luster on the marquee matchup of the lads helming both teams. Tom Brady remains football’s golden boy, appearing again on the cover of Sports Illustrated and posting a positively scintillating opening week. But then there’s Mark Sanchez. The Sanchise. Yeah. About that.

The performance on Monday night in front of the world could best be described as dirty, dirty Sanchez FAIL. He hit on just 10 of 21 passes for a mere 74 years and didn’t convert a third down until the fourth quarter. He wasn’t picked in the game, but he was dropped twice for a total of 14 yards lost as the Ravens defense swarmed and smothered the Jets.

Clearly Sanchez is a top quarterback, because the Jets are such a great team and Rex Ryan says that Sanchez is the best thing since sliced bread and stuff. Something must have been on his mind. And before anyone suggests it was the lovely and talented Ines Sainz, we all know that Sanchez admires Ms. Sainz for the class professional that she is and her tireless work as a broadcast professional.

Ummmm, yeah, okay, then, so what was it?

Reggie Bush – Empathizing for his fellow Trojan alum, Sanchez contemplated how he might broker a deal that would allow Reggie to retain his hard earned Heisman. He knew people who vote for the Heisman, surely the Downtown Athletic Club would listen to him when he appealed to their decency, to their sense of justice. I mean, Reggie made so much coin for USC and all he wanted was a little scratch to take care of his family. It’s not like he killed anyone.

Giselle – Yeah, Sanchez has it bad for Brady’s wife. There’s just something filthy about bagging the big guy’s babe. Ever since high school when he taped a poster of her to his ceiling. Everynight he’d tell himself he’d have her. But he would not keep her long. And now with Brady the nemesis to be dethroned. That. Much. Hotter.

Big Daddy Drew – For Sanchez, nothing tops the Kissing Suzy Kolber author’s column’s detailing his latest and greatest nickname from Coach Ryan. As the game progressed, he wondered what it would be Tuesday morning. The strange preciseness of Drew’s columns had left the Jets pondering where the camera was hidden. Since the Bills game in week 6 he had tried to keep the thoughts out of his head. But back they came on Monday night.

His Fantasy Team – Sanchez started Arian Foster. Boo-Frakkin-Yaa. Regrettably he forgot that the points Foster racked up for his team did not translate to the game on Monday night. He regretted benching the Ravens defense by the third quarter.

American Idol – Long the favorite show of Sanchez, he wondered how it would remake itself without half its judges from the previous year. No Simon, no Sanchez.

LOST – Still unable to shake off the series finale, Sanchez found himself wondering if the time travel plot line was really necessary.

Ray Lewis – Dude. Is. Scary. Did you see what he did to Keller?

So with those thoughts no longer plaguing Sanchez’ waking moments, he’s certain to connect on passes to Cotchery, Keller and Edwards all day long, right?

Don’t bet on it, kid

Joe Tetreault, a contritbutor to Foxboro Blog, wears many hats in his work with the Bloguin Network.  Most notably, Joe is the lead blogger at Tetreaultvision, where you can read the majority of his daily content.